a dear friend comes to Oregon

There are friendships that last for a season. There are friendships that are needed for a reason. And then there are friendships that last a lifetime. This is one of those.

 No matter the time, distance, or age, my friendship with Brenda just continues. She's been there in my rotten teen years (Why, I'm not sure, but may God bless her for it!); she was there in the rough times after I quit college and didn't have any clue what my future held; she listened to my single girl woes & fears; she was there when I moved to San Diego & skyped me once a week to keep the friendship fresh; she continued our skype date when I got married & moved here, to Oregon.

Now, it's her turn to get married. Her road hasn't been an easy one. It's not my place to share her story, but I will say this; she is a strong woman. Not because she is strong--she would correct me if I attributed it to her--but because He is strong within her. She makes me think of the verse, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." I feel so honored & blessed to have a friend like her.

The weekend before her wedding, she came out to Oregon to see me, because she told me she would before she got engaged. It was so reminiscient of our train ride right before my wedding. I'm so glad she did! It was a lovely time of tete-a-tetes, berry & cherry gleaning, & lots of lovely sunshine.

I will treasure those few days she was here, meeting my little Fiona, seeing all the spots here that make my heart patter, loving me for who I am, & being Brenda. Always being Brenda.

And I love her for it.

shop reveal!

So...I have an etsy shop!! Finally. A few months behind schedule. It's been so fun creating & dreaming up goodies for it. 

But it's been scary, too. Once the shop was open, there it was: the entire world could see what I deemed worthy of creating, what sort of talent (or lack thereof) I had. And there are soooo many shops out there already, doing what I'm doing, only better. So why, then?

Because I would create anyway. 

For now. But the time will come when maybe I won't. Unless I had a shop, for example, that kept me accountable & justified my time & effort. (How practical, right?)

And I don't want my art school education wasted.

But mostly, I just want to. And I can't really explain the "why". I just want to.

So there you have it: jkathryndesign.etsy.com. It's alive!

Feel free to look & enjoy. Feel free to just look. No pressure here! Just creating is fulfillment enough.

anniversary #2 (almost)

I can't believe we've been married two years already! (Almost anyway.) It's been a lovely ride. We've grown so much together. Sometimes I think back to the giddy first times & miss it a wee bit...but then I remember how little I knew of him & marriage & think, "I'm glad we're here".

When we got married, it was berry harvest. It's proof of our state of giddiness that I was blissfully unaware what that meant, & that Dar actually went on a honeymoon. That will never happen again:). I don't mind though, as long as we do something to celebrate it, sometime.

So this year we went to Eastern Oregon. Eastern Oregon for real this time, not just central Oregon. Dar had been plotting & dreaming of heading over here for a long time. It's rugged, lonesome country.

(Don't be fooled: there was no one around to take this photo. I propped my camera on the hood of the car & set self-timer!)

We covered a lot of territory, driving through barren, wheat country, to deep canyons of rusty-striped rock, to verdant valleys ringed by snow-capped mountains where hundreds of cattle grazed.

The few towns were tiny, forgotten towns with weathered main streets & faded "for sale" signs everywhere. It was beautiful, but haunting. I'm glad we live in the Willamette Valley, where my eyes can rest on green & civilization!

AT&T has no presence in these parts! Good thing we brought along our old-fashioned map-we consulted it frequently. My husband has a thing for taking the road less traveled...

The people were very friendly though-I am sure everyone knew everyone within a 100 mile radius. Seriously. Every vehicle we passed gave us a wave & we got stared at in town. I kept catching myself talking to Dar with a twang...("wonder what folks do round these parts for fun?")

 We stopped at the Painted Hills & attempted to hike with Miss Fee, but she wasn't a fan. And it was blazing hot. So we just enjoyed the view as long as it took to guzzle a few water bottles then headed on our way.

 Other than being a less than huge fan of hiking, whining during our steak dinner, & waking up every few hours during the night, she was so good: just slept & was like a quiet little mouse in the back seat as we covered hundreds of miles. I'm so glad she was along!

This anniversary was lovely--different than last year, when we were footloose & babyfree, but it was just as good. No, actually it was better. We know eachother one year better & have our little Fee now. Who knows what year #3 will hold! All I know is, it will be good.

memorial day 2015

I like Memorial Day. It's low stress & is usually out of doors. The food is good: grilled, fresh, & best eaten with your hands. 

We were a little lonely this Memorial Day: the family was all out in Iowa for a wedding except for us & the four youngest kids. My family was there too, making me even more lonesome. 

We made the most of playing parents to Katie & Riley. We took them fishing. 

This is what we ladies did. I have yet to get a pole...I keep expecting every birthday & Christmas to bring a long skinny package,( hint hint Dar.) Although then I'd have to pay attention instead of just enjoying this beautiful PNW misty view. And I'd have to put my sketchbook down. And maybe even clean my fish...hmm, might have to rethink the pole.

They didn't catch any fish (don't bring it up with the boys-point of pride here), but it was a lovely way to while away the Memorial Day weekend. And Fee seemed to enjoy it, too. 

Have a wonderful Memorial Day, people!

Dairy Free

Being a mom is a different cat altogether. I've never had to be so responsible for the life of another. It's terrifying. And infants can't talk. So when something's wrong, it's up to the mother to take notice. Yikes! I'm not very good at it.
And she's been so healthy overall, but she has been having some blood issues. I took her in to the doctor & they did some stool samples. It came back positive for an allergen of some sort. First, I cut out dairy, the number one allergen. Sad, sad day. No more cream drizzled on my oatmeal, no more late night cold glass of milk, no more yogurt for a midmorning snack. But the problem didn't resolve. So I have an appointment with a specialist in June. Until then, I've also cut out eggs & soy, the other top two allergens for breastfed infants. It's taking some creativity & serious willpower to eat like that. But there are lots of options out there these days due to all the fad diets & awareness of food sensitivities.

To be honest, I feel like such a poser with almond milk, imitation cheese shreds (never ever again! Think, velveeta meets poster tac.), & coconut milk in my grocery cart. But it must be done.

And there are lots of dairy free recipes out there: I made some almond date breakfast bars to snack on because my usual go to snack, granola bars, all have soy in them. Actually they were sunflower seed craisin bars because I had neither almonds or dates around. It works.

And who knew you could whip coconut cream? And it's sooo good!

The grill has become my best friend for dinner. Dar's eyes lit up when I lamented that I'd just have to do all plain ol' meat cuts instead of casseroles.

But it could be so much worse. Fiona is doing so well. She's started to get chubby little cheeks that I can't resist nibbling. She's outgrown her newborn diapers. (I almost saved one just so I could remember how tiny they were!)
I got a little teary when I put these sweetest of little dresses away. I probably wore them too long on her anyway.

She's cooing & batting at toys & soaking up the world around her. I put her in a bumbo seat today, & she fit it!! Where has my little 6# newborn gone? She weighs a whopping 9#8 ounces now. My biceps realize this even if my heart doesn't.
So we are thankful for her health & normalness. This blood thing is okay. It reminds me to pray for her & dedicate her to God for His protection.
Whatever it is, it will be okay. 

first smiles + peonies

Perhaps there are sweeter things in the world. 

But I can't think of anything sweeter than my little girl's first smiles & the first blushing peonies of summer.

the most important work

Mother's Day had a whole new meaning this year. For I am a mother. How odd. I don't feel like one. This lady is one. A good one. She is a wonderful gift-giver & can make the best peach custard pie ever. She can sew like no one's business & tries her best to make everyone happy. She wears her gray hair with dignity. I'm just now beginning to realize her selflessness & the sacrifices she's made as a single mother of seven. Will I ever really understand the daunting task of raising seven children alone? Probably not. I wish I would've been more appreciative & grateful to her. I am now. Though I still don't tell her often. But Mother's Day is a reminder. So, thank you, Mom, for all you've done, all you do, and all I know you will continue to do. 

 And now I'm a mom.
 I don't feel like one.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Dar will ask me what's wrong with Fiona if she's crying, & if it's not hunger or a messy diaper, I don't know what to tell him. There are times I look at her helplessly, at a loss of what to do. I get a little frustrated sometimes that my day's accomplishments consist of getting the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. And this is the easy part. What will I do when she starts sassing me? When she tells her first lie? When she (help!) turns into the teenager I was?!
But, to be a mom...it is what I've always wanted. Even if I didn't always realize it.
It is the most challenging task I've ever undertaken. Because it is requiring everything of me, unconditionally, & the end result is the soul of another. I've never done anything so important & terrifying in all my life.

"Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work."

-C.S. Lewis

Here I am, with my most important work. Under a hanging basket her dad picked out as a gift for my first mother's day. In keeping with what his mother always got. I expect there are are many hanging baskets in my future:). I also got to sit back & watch while breakfast was made for me. Crepes. Made fresh: as soon as I finished one, he flipped another on my plate. My favorite. I couldn't be more pleased with this Mother's Day.