Fiona turned three. She is still the sweet blue-eyed Fee she's always been. Just more so. More spunky. More inquisitive. More pink. More feelings. She is very aware of her feelings now. I bruise them quite easily. All the feminine bits of her have exploded into full-blown girl: where they used to be dainty little buds peeping out of their translucent shells, they are now big, blowsy peonies. The magenta kind. Or maybe it just feels that way since we have a boy to compare her to. But there is so much in her I remember from my early years (and current years...). Her sensitive little soul & craving for affirmation, to hear she is loved & lovely. I'm learning that sensitivity is a two-edged sword. Quick to get hurt feelings, she's also quick to admire beauty & savor togetherness. She revels in what she perceives as lovely.
Sunsets never fail to get an "Oh, Mom! Wook at dat sunset! Isn't it beauteeful?" even if it's not. Any thing growing with a color other than green on it is a flower & worthy of picking. To our landscape's detriment. Currently, anything sparkly, pink, or purple gets a loud exclaim & her solid stamp of approval.
There has been more than one occasion I've dressed her for church, only to find out after we've arrived that she's snuck her tutu on under her dress. She twirls & spins & dances to a daily soundtrack only she can hear. But you can tell it's a really good one:). All day long I hear, "Mom, watch me--" as she leaps off the furniture or spins around any barre she can find. I cringe sometimes, waiting for a broken arm, but she bounces back, supple as a willow limb.
Spending my days with her is a mixture of trying to keep a straight face & a lid on the exasperation. A few of her current phrases that I'd like carved in my memory:
"I napped for a loooong day."
"Last morning, ____" (this phrase is her catch-all for anything that happened longer ago than today).
"You're not my friend anymore" this one's for me, when I put my foot down. Fortunately, I usually hear, "you're my friend. I love you sooo much," after the feelings have been mended.
- her shoes are always on the wrong feet. Always.
- her favorite color is most definitely pink.
- she loves our pets & cuddles & kisses them & tries to sneak them into the house.
- she folds the washcloths for me when I'm folding laundry, and does a perfect job. We race: I fold the larger towels, she folds her stack. She cheats to win, & is a terrible loser. We're working on it.
- one of her cousins nicknamed her "The Bosser".
- she adores flowers & will pick them for me and ask me to put them in a "waste" (vase).
- her changing multiple times a day trend has slowed down, but she still changes at least a few times.
- she points out crosses whenever we're driving and then will usually tell me the crucifixion story, which makes my heart ache in the sweetest way. She's just so "sad for Jesus that those soljers put that pokey crown on him and made his head bleed, but he did it because he loves us." She told me the other day that she prayed for Jesus. I take little credit for this, and understand Jesus' sayings about little ones more than ever.
- she still frequently makes her way to our room at night, but it's manageable. Sometimes, she'll willingly go back on her own when we tell her to. Since she turned 2, and started the whole nightly trek thing, she's told me multiple times about the wolves in her closet. So I'm a little more sympathetic. Wendell will be sharing a room with her (and did for a month before he relapsed and started waking her up with his crying), and I think that will solve most of our night time issues.
- she loooves listening to stories on CD: her favorites are The Secret Garden, Madeline, and the Jesus Storybook Bible
- her current favorite songs are Twilight is Stealing, and Amazing Grace. I am impressed at how well she can sing! Didn't get that from her mother.
- she also loves books (thank goodness!!): Berentstein Bears, Madeline, the Jesus Storybook Bible (highly, highly recommend!!), any Bible story book really, and princess books are her favorites.
- she loves to go on walks. which really means, go over to grammy's.
- she has this new nervous habit of tucking her hair behind her ears over and over.
- she loves "fatty bacon"
- she asked for pancakes every morning, so I finally made Friday pancake day so she'd quit asking. It works very well.
Three years is deeper, wider, & more feely than any year yet. Does that just keep happening with each new year? Sometimes it's overwhelming, wondering how I'm going to raise my children, but in the three years I've been at it, I've learned that we will get through it. And that usually, what felt like a big deal at first, really isn't. And that the growing isn't restricted to my children.
Fiona, you are one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I am better for you being in our lives. I pray we have lots of years left with you, teaching me to lean more on Jesus, let go of my strongly-held opinions, & stop to smell the flowers. Every flower. Even the ones your farmer daddy calls weeds.
We love you.
