the spring of things

Today was a good day, a fresh start, one that smelled and felt like spring. I've somehow (thank the Lord) bypassed winter, but spring is here nonetheless. New things are blossoming & starting to unfurl their little heads, and it isn't just plants I'm referring to. I find myself with eyes just primed to observe beauty these days & taking a quick second to savor the joie de vivre pumping through my veins. And yet, life goes on as it always has, with such mundane things as food, laundry, & a 2011 tax return still unsettled as of this afternoon (groan).
And so I was swung back into a new rhythm of things after recent events in my life so effectively turned it all upside down. The peach tree is blooming. Noah is recovering from a bout of fever. An afternoon game of croquet got a little violent. My apron got donned for the first time in weeks. I started eating again. All in all, normal life seems to have returned as best it can.
I know life won't ever be the same. For any of us. Will's very concerned that he might have to get married. "I won't have to get married for how long?" he keeps asking. Noah has overcome his initial repulsion to the idea of matrimony & a surprisingly insightful curiosity has taken its place. "I guess I want to get married someday because I want to have kids to boss around...and give me a hundred scoops of ice cream if I want it!" Sophie's got my wedding planned, down to the color of candy at the reception and the type of flowers for the bouquets (Ramona hillside succulents).
There are so many little thoughts careening around my head, "Pink! Striped straws for the reception! I wonder how long it would take to paint a watercolor backdrop...do you think the average male would be opposed to wearing a gingham tie?" and lots more that are much deeper and mine alone, so I won't tell you them. But I do want to be here for these three kids too. And C & B. Especially B. I've got a limited time here now, so I don't want to waste the remaining moments we've got left. Despite an ever-increasing distraction about 1,050 miles away.
It'll be a balance I'm afraid is going to lean heavily one way. And I know the Califamily will be patient with that and shake their heads and smile. Or in Clint's case, smirk.
As topsy-turvy as life has become, and as scattered as my brain is, everything feels quite right. I hope it does to everyone else involved too. And while we're there, I apologize many times over for the times I will forget to tell you what time the rehearsal dinner is, and for taking off the weekend...again, and for backing out on that event we'd been planning to do for months, and for not hearing what you said while I was texting aforementioned 1,050 mile distraction. They've told me sanity will return. I sure hope so...kind of.