all about me?

I started this post intending to talk about my life, other people, and what's going on outside of the wedding--I never wanted to be one of those people that couldn't talk about anything but the wedding, or the fiance, or the plans...but I realized, there's not a whole lot outside of that. : /. For better or worse, I'm afraid that's what's going on these days. And honestly, it's hardly wedding stuff taking precedence in my mind, but more wrapping my mind around the idea that I will be a wife, married, with my own house, in-laws, a new last name. But I'm still me. Still just Jenna Dotterer, a girl with tendencies to put off what really needs to be done and make paper flowers & apple cake instead. 

It was nice to take a break from all the newness and make paper flowers from an old map with Sophie. She's so patient with my absentmindedness and loves to talk about the wedding. She even came registering with us on Friday and was such a trooper! Eight hours of mind-numbing decisions & a doozy of a "bridal consultant". (Please look at my registry with a grain of salt! I'm tweaking it online this week. No, I do not think I'm entitled to $300 luggage or $75 "side sleeper" pillows. :).) Getting engaged has been a life lesson in asking for help. It was such an odd feeling to register, knowing I'll get the majority of what's on my list. I felt greedy & a little guilty. And so appreciative for my church family. And overwhelmed by the fellowship we have. And also a little burned out...I'm glad I've got Soph around to keep me enthused when I want nothing more to do with decisions--she keeps it fresh & exciting. And makes it impossible to totally be removed from reality. The kids have been so good for me right now. I do have some responsibilities to them, & they need attention from me, & to see a good example in me. I fail them frequently. There are times Sophie needs help with school, and I'm trying to tweak my registry, or make lists, and I find myself a little irritated at the interruption. (To my shame.) But just look at those big brown eyes! How could anyone stay irritated? Or not admit that perhaps it's not her, but me that's out of line? She has such confidence and trust in my good intentions. A good accountability. I'd hate to let her down.

So if it's apple cake & paper roses that keep me from becoming too caught up in planning, so be it. I will bake & make as much as it takes. And tackle that to-do list tomorrow. Hopefully, by the time June 16th rolls around, we'll all still be sane and our friendships will survive the journey.