patience, perfect, + entire

Waiting seems to be our lot these days. Baby is coming, the berries are coming, we look ahead to a place of our own. But waiting doesn't mean stagnancy or that where we are isn't an end in and of itself. I dream of a little farmhouse or bungalow where my children will grow & Dar & I will grow old together, & the trim is all original & wide, & the wooden floors tell stories of lives & loves gone by, & the trees are all old & healthy, & the stream back behind the house whispers us to sleep during crisp nights with the windows open, & guests come & go comfortably, nourished by berry turnovers & good coffee & conversation. I've been realizing lately though, how swiftly time passes, & how my dreams won't all be realized, & that in the end, I won't mind at all. 

It was just yesterday that I had my hospital bag packed, the changing table stocked & ready, the bassinet ready to go, for Fee. (This time around, not so much...I just can't seem to get into "nesting") Seeing her change so much, so fast in the two years she's been here makes me a little panicky that tomorrow I'll wake up & she'll be graduating high school.  "The days are long, but the years are short" has SO much truth in it. It feels like everytime I have a chance to pause & catch my breath, she's learned some new sassy phrase or a new way to climb on the counter. And I know it just has to become more of a blur with multiples! As much as I love making pretty things & painting watercolor, I'm looking forward to taking some time off from the etsy shop to just be with my two littles. 

Yesterday, I spent 4.5 hours at the hospital getting a non stress test for the baby (everything checked out great). More waiting. But the steady rhythm of the baby's heart kept me company, & I got a chance to think & reflect. (MANNA for this introvert's soul!) At one point, I opened up a Bible app on my phone to read, & the daily reading was of rejoicing in suffering. James 1: "knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect & entire, wanting nothing". Patience. Wanting nothing. (Isn't He so good to us, to give us words when we need them?)

I've been trying to consciously take it a little slower, & savor. To quote Anne, "I smack my lips over life". And I do. This new little home we live in on the farm has been a little Eden to us. To be so close to the activity, the berries, the family has been a huge blessing to all three of us. I can't think of anything that would make life more complete, not even a quaint farmhouse with loads of charm & character & enough space for all the guests we get:). Sometimes I think Grammy's contentment with her little home must've soaked into the walls & we're somehow absorbing it simply by living where she shared so much love.

So, while now feels like a time of waiting-for baby, for berries, for the "forever home"-it's anything but stale & wearisome. It is a time of shaping & molding, of becoming perfect & entire, learning to want nothing more than what we have.

And we want to thank you again for all the prayers for this baby's safe & healthy arrival! So far, things continue to look normal, & we can't wait to meet this little one!