Illinois recap January 2016

*This post is totally random & is what happens when I'd rather be with the people than taking photos of them. Sorry for the choppiness & less than awesome photo-quality, but know between photos, I was thoroughly enjoying my family!

This is the #1 reason we went back to Illinois:

Did you ever see such sweetness? Little Harbor is much loved. 

{love this photo! Finn eats a gummy heart we used to bribe him onto the couch. And Harbor cries. Real life right here.}

And Shara makes four (four! Wasn't River just born? Now he's losing teeth!!) children look so easy. She's such a laid back mom. With exceptional taste in kid's attire:) (Fee gets all Madeira's hand-me-downs...) I've been looking up to her ever since we shared a bedroom growing up, & made her turn the lights off at 8 o'clock. She is a jewel. 

Fee was a wee bit jealous, I think. With baby William, & now Harbor, she wasn't quite sure what's so great about these tiny new humans anyway. 

Not that she didn't get absolutely spoiled while we were there. See if you can find the common thread in the next six photos.

 Jeremy + Fee

 Wendy + Fee {Wendy puts Fee to sleep. It's what she does.}

 Alex + Fee

 Ty + Fee (are you sensing a trend?)

Tory + Fee

 Carmen, Pierce, Alex, + Fee.

My family loves Fee. And she loves them, or at least tolerates them. I prepare myself every trip back for some hard-core stranging & fear of all the new people, but Fee's been a trooper every time. It warms my heart so much to see her in the arms of my family!

While Harbor was our my main reason for coming back to Illinois this time of year, we also celebrated a late Christmas. We had a good time, even though the little kids took turns having meltdowns, getting pinkeye, & ear infections. I had a mother of all colds the entire time, that got progressively worse as I got progressively further & further behind on my sleep. That said, we enjoyed our family time immensely. These next photos are just snapshots from the week. Enjoy the randomness that is my family!

Roxy & Kinsey building a gingerbread train

Madeira with her "food" gift--a tradition that's been going on since...forever. It's my favorite Christmas tradition. Mom used to buy us a special food she wouldn't the rest of the year & she & Dad would hide it while we all played in the basement. Then they'd call us up & we'd have a ball searching the house for our little Debbie snackcakes or Lucky Charms or whatever happened to be our gift. Such a fun tradition!

"Milk Toast": a favorite slur amongst the boys in the family. (shoulder shrug.) photo credits: Kenny

Gotta love the 6 week apart nephews in similar guzzling pose.

the only photo I got of the rib grill-off we had.

We pulled taffy one night. That was fun! I would write a step-by-step, but I wouldn't do a very succinct job, so just enjoy the photos. Maybe someday we'll reenact it, & I'll be more proactive about photos to break it down. 

Carmen grabbed my camera & so I was actually in a photo! I need to ask people to do that more often...

And that's it.

These photos capture a little bit what it was like to be back. They tell a little of the fun & togetherness. They tell of swarms of people & little ones & everyone pitching in & milling around. They don't capture the bittersweetness that overwhelms me every time we go back. It is such a good, hard time. I am most homesick when I am home. Aunt Carol was right. The nephews have grown up, my role is no longer there, I've missed out on countless conversations. I feel the 2,000 miles most when I'm right there.
But I would never want to quit going back. And I want Fiona to know "The Dotterer's" in all their quirkiness.  I have to remind myself that if it weren't hard, I wouldn't be as close to my family as I am. So we will keep coming back, & I will deal with the bittersweetness.

And someday, there won't be 2,000 miles between us anymore. Praise God!