Seven years ago

Seven years ago, I was a senior in high school with big dreams; college was in the near future, I had scholarships, my teachers all told me I would succeed at whatever I chose to do. I believed them. Life was good.

I thought. But God had no place in my life. I made all my own plans, my own dreams, achieved it all by my own merit. And I wasn't happy, underneath it all. I was a very belligerent 17-year old. Very. No amount of dream-achieving could fill the void I had in my heart. I was so lost, I didn't even know there was a void!! 

But seven years ago, I went to Haiti.

I met another girl, exactly my age. She wanted to go to nursing school. She had big dreams too. Dreams, but no opportunities. Her days were spent taking care of 60+ orphans, wiping noses, straightening shirts, breaking up fights. She ought to have been miserable.  Instead, she had joy. Joy, and God. And it made all the difference. She had joy that I, with all my American dreaming, was jealous of. 

I had everything (I thought): she only had a cast-off shirt from some wealthy American girl that said, "dreaming of a better place". That she wore days in a row.

I will never forget how that shirt made me feel. 

Seven years ago, I sat at our kitchen island, dripping tears into the coffee that was suppose to keep me caffeinated enough to finish all the catch up work I had from missing school to go to Haiti.   

I was miserable. I needed what that girl in Haiti had, not college, & scholarships, & letters of recommendation. In a moment of God-given clarity, I realized I couldn't do this life on my own anymore!

Seven years ago, I cried out to God & He lovingly whispered, "I've been here all along."

Seven years ago, a Haitian girl made a difference in my life by having joy in spite of her circumstances. 

Seven years since I became a Christian: since then, I've cycled up & down, had periods of intense zeal & months of spiritual discouragement. My sphere of influence has now shrunk to a tiny bubble

(named Fee), & it feels sometimes like I'm not doing anything to advance God's kingdom. But, seven years ago, a 17 year old girl changed my life forever by having joy. 

This, then, is what I can do. Wherever I am. 

Let your light so shine before men that they may glorify your Father which is in heaven.

This print I have for sale in my etsy shop was inspired by my experience in Haiti. 100% of all sales will go back to Haiti, to Hospital Lumiere. If you would prefer simply to donate money straight to them, go to harvestcall.org/donate.